My name’s Patti. My mom named me ‘Leigh’. Nobody calls me Leigh. Since high school I’ve been ‘Patti’. Maybe I’ll tell you why sometime. It’s dumb.
I showed up to Josh’s end-of-summer party in a ripped (by me) ‘Black Flag’ shirt from the In My Head tour. Caribbean blue, no sleeves, most of my smooth belly showing.
I fuckin’ love that album. I wish I’d seen them live back then. Only I wouldn’t come along for almost twenty years. Those old bands? They got it.
Besides my band tee, I was wearin’ burgundy Brandit Rub Off Phantom boots and black maxi-net tights under my ragged denim cutoffs, all cinched up with a wide black leather double-buckle belt.
The party held no surprises. Sunny, perfect pool, the boys horsing around to impress the girls. Mark and Don arguing about lawn darts. A cooler of generic beers, hard and soft drinks, and ice.
I was so fuckin’ bored.
Almost no surprises.
I saw her before she saw me, like always.
There She was, talkin’ to Priya—our best friend back in high school—while I stood, leaning against the faux-cedar fence, holding my disappointing beer. All I could do was stare.
She was wearin’ a little red sundress that did everythin’ right. Her hair fell around her face and past her shoulders like molten amber. Her indecently green eyes twinkled as she laughed. But her nose was a little too sharp, her cheekbones were a little too high, her smile was uneven—like Natalie Dormer, maybe. She’d never been ‘beautiful’, but always beautiful.
In band, I’d sit in the back playing my bass and dreaming about asking her to hang out. Never did.
Five years later, I still had nothin’. Fuckin’ lame.
I heard Priya say girlfriend. She frowned. Priya tried ex and She nodded.
My mouth went dry. I’m allowed. Everythin’ shifted.
I abandoned my watery beer on the fence rail. It wasn’t for me, anyway.
These were my friends. In school.
They’re nice. I like them. I’m glad they invited me.
They’re wearin’ the right clothes, saying the right stuff, on their way to being ‘adults’.
They’re almost afraid of me.
I pass Trevor. He’s manning the barbecue and holds up a burnt wiener with his tongs, but knows better than to offer it to me.
I pass Stacy. She’s carrying a comically large bowl of popcorn. I glance at her, then at it. I’m pretty sure she shook the cheese powder into the shapes of continents. Stacy’s always been a try-hard. A cute try-hard, but not my kind of cute.
I nudge past Priya as I reach her. Priya makes a sound—says somethin’?—but disappears like she’s a magician’s assistant. The party, the town, the world, all of it is outside the space I inhabit with her.
I take her hand in mine. I look deep into emerald eyes that would fill my tummy with butterflies during open music room. Then I continue on by, trusting my touch is my message.
“I’ve got this crazy feeling…” I breathe as my fingers pull away. I don’t look back. I stride toward the easement between Josh’s parents’ house and their neighbours’. Nothin’ there but eight feet of sheltered gravel and four inches of fence.
Public privacy.
She follows.
Here she comes!
I prop myself up with one hand against the house. I’ve wanted this for years! Is this—
She kisses me.
I slip my tongue past her lips. She tastes like candy apple and vodka and I want to drink her. My hands find her ass, round and soft and perfect. I squeeze hard and she moans. I break the kiss and we pivot, my boots and her flats crunching the gravel as I press her back against the siding. Her mouth opens again but I clamp my hand over it.
“They’ll hear you.” I want them to.
She nods agreement. My free hand glides up her hip, under that flimsy dress, across her belly, and into her panties. The sound she makes now is soft. My fingers find her tight curls, then her clit. It’s hard as a little stone and when I rub it she groans.
“Shh,” I hiss. I hope she won’t.
I start fuckin’ her slow while I whisper filth in her ear. “So fuckin’ wet!” finger in, curl, back out “Greedy pussy.” finger in deep, flick, back out “Squeezin’ so tight!” finger all the way out, then as deep as I can reach “Fuck, you’re hot!” I pick up the pace and I’m losing myself. Her panties are around her thighs—when did that happen?—as I pound my middle finger into her faster, harder, and even though she’s still whimpering into my hand, that’s not what someone might hear if—
“I’m getting more buns!” Josh sounds like he’s at the edge of the gravel strip.
I stop. I don’t want them to hear her—I want to make her mine.
She removes my hand from her mouth and smiles wickedly. I’m confused but now she’s sliding down the house to her knees on the jagged gravel. I realise I’ve been holding my breath but now I’m breathin’ hard and loud. She’s unbuckling my belt and dropping it. She’s pulling down my cutoffs and she giggles when she sees I’m only wearin’ the maxi-nets beneath.
I’m so horny I feel drunk! I bury my fingers in her hair to hold myself steady.
She looks so good! On her knees like that, her eyes on mine, her face so close to my pussy I can feel her breathin’, oh, she looks so fine!
She gives me a kiss and I’m groaning. I’m gonna fall down, my knees are so fuckin’ weak! I hope I don’t hurt her. Jesus! Her tongue is all the way up inside and I don’t think I ever felt this good! She hasn’t even moved my maxi-nets, she’s licking right through them! Oh JESUS! Her teeth are on my clit and I’m pulling her face against my throbbing cunt.
Oh, this is perfect. More than perfect. She’s got her tongue back inside me and she’s grinding her nose against me and there’s no way I can keep quiet.
I’m gonna make her mine.
She sucks on my pussy, pulls my lips into her mouth.
I’m gonna make her mine.
She bites my lips. She lets go. Her nose is in me!
“Gonna make her mine!”
Her tongue is sliding up and down my slit. I’m shaking and I’m squeezin’ my eyes tight. Fuck! I just need a tiny bit more…
“Make her mine!”
Was that out loud? I think I said that out loud. Fuck it, I don’t care! Her tongue leaves my cunt and licks all around my fat mound.
“MINE!”
She’s sucking my clit and I’m cumming and I’m dizzy and I’m falling forward and I think I hit my head on the side of the house and I’m living my best sin.
AH-AH
“Gloria!”
“Hey, Priya, Gloria,” I said as I approached the snack table. “Anythin’ vegan?” I’d given her a five-minute head start.
Priya gave me a look and I knew she knew. “I mentioned you to Gee about an hour ago,” her voice was light, teasing. “I thought she could use a warning. I guess she didn’t need it.”
I glanced Gloria’s way, panicking, but she looked perfectly calm.
“Oh, and Gee?” Priya smirked. “Your knees. Some gravel stuck there.”
Gloria’s crooked smile broke. She mouthed a single word: ‘Mine’.
